Walking Canes and Parasols
by OneirosTheWriter
Summary: Roman & Neopolitan at work and play. A Gelato one-shot, has a little sultriness and a lot of flirtation and a bit of being yelled at by Cinder.


**A/N: I needed a quick break from writing Four Deadly Secrets (40k words in a few weeks is seriously draining) and when I asked for ship-fic suggestions, the first request was a Gelato pairing, so here we go.**

**As a fair warning, although I'm of the school of thought that Roman and Neo have a Joker & Harley Quinn thing going, I know there is a theory running around that they are father/daughter. If you're of the latter opinion then this probably won't be your cup of tea. They are a romantic couple here.**

_One Year Ago_

"I'm not a mind-reader, of course," drawled Roman as he felt his partner in crime press against him, back to back. "But I don't think they want to give us the Dust." He tapped Melodic Cudgel against the palm of his hand, looking calm and nonchalant.

"Aww, now why would you be such a pessimist, boss?" asked Neopolitan with her open parasol out in front of her.

"Oh, you know, intuition," he said musingly as the sound of a dozen Schnee rent-a-cops working the slide racks on Rigid Ballistic Back Swords echoed intimidatingly through the enclosed warehouse.

Neopolitan smiled and blinked. One of the more observant guards hesitated as he realised the teenage girl suddenly had mismatched eyes. But even he shook his head and dismissed it as a trick of the light. "Oh that's just defeatist, boss-dear. Hmm, if you can convince these nice people to hand over the Dust, maybe I'll call you 'boss' tonight, as well?"

Roman glanced over his shoulder in surprise, eyebrows riding high on his face. "Well, I better get persuasive, then."

The disgruntled chief of the guards spat on the concrete ground in distaste. "Yeah, that's great, well you can flirt all you like when we pen you up in an SDC holding cell, so why doncha just drop the gear and raise them paws."

"Perhaps you'd like to come claim them?" suggested Neo innocently.

A standoff ensued, the master thief and his accomplice waiting patiently, the guards growing ever more twitchy. Finally the chief grew tired of the impasse and growled, "Ah, screw it, drop 'em, folks!"

Shotgun blasts boomed and echoed through the spacious warehouse as the dozen guards unleashed on the known villains. But even as the first pellets crossed the divide, Roman and Neopolitan's visage shattered like glass, and the guards found themselves in a circular firing squad. Suddenly misdirected shotgun blasts knocked over luckless guards as the chief screamed for everyone to ceasefire. Unfortunately for the chief, he didn't have nearly enough time to restore order as an explosive round from Melodic Cudgel detonated at his feet.

Roman and Neopolitan fell from the rafters, the latter grinning like a fiend as she descended into her disarrayed foes. The battle was short, sharp and utterly one-sided. In a matter of seconds, the colourful girl was gaily stepping through the slumped forms, parasol now closed, held in her hands at her back.

"Another day, another Dust heist, just like clockwork," celebrated Neo in a sing-song voice.

Roman stood up from a broken crate with a case of some of the finest Dust crystals in Remnant in his hands. "You know, we make a good team, you and I. Wasn't sure how you'd turn out under pressure, but you're alright, Neo."

"You're sweet talking me now, dear," said Neo, but she couldn't help but smile vividly.

"I couldn't possibly be sweet talking you, Neo, you're still in your clothes," retorted Roman, ignoring the glare the girl shot him in reply. "But I was thinking, perhaps we'd like to make this one-off something longer term."

Neopolitan leaned on her parasol and smiled so enigmatically that Roman didn't know whether to expect a joyful squee or derisive laughter next. But the girl was silent as she sauntered up and lifted the crook of her parasol up and hooked the back of Roman's neck. Roman didn't resist as the handle slowly drew his face down to Neo's height.

"I think that … would be a very good idea," she purred. Without giving him a moment to think she leaned in and kissed him deeply. Neo's kiss was sweet, creamy and vivid, sending an intense jolt throughout the older man's body. Roman's eyes went wide with shock, but he couldn't bring himself to even consider pulling back.

When Neo pulled back, still smiling and cocky, Roman gave her a dark look and said, "I don't think I appreciate you stealing my thunder like that."

"Well, how else were you to know I'm master-thief enough for you," replied Neo.

The man cocked his head and raised his brows at the comment. "I can see that I have a lot to teach you." His gaze flicked upwards. "But I hear the sirens of our favourite boys in blue, so it's time for us to bid our sleepy friends here farewell. Neo, our chariot awaits."

xxxx

_Present Day_

The unmarked Bullhead sped away from the scene of the crime, leaving behind four angry girls and a small mountain of ruined robotic wreckage. The master criminal and his right-hand lady were safely ensconced in the hold of the craft, the former lamenting the setback, the latter observing the man who was fast becoming the center of her life. A few silent minutes passed, interrupted only by the anonymous pilot announcing they were in the clear.

"Not so much as a peep from you out there today, Neo," noted Roman as he continued to brush the detritus of battle from his designer coat. "Playing the silent protagonist?"

Neopolitan smiled enigmatically and leaned back into her seat, crossing her legs with a pronounced flick. "What was there to say? Should I have tried to flirt with all the girls like you were?"

"Flirting?" scoffed Roman with an airy wave of his hand. "My dear, if you'll recall, I was hunting them in a giant robot to start a battle royale. It's hardly the stuff of flower bouquets and serenades under moonlit balconies. You, sweetness, clearly have a very twisted style of flirting."

The girl winked, for a split-second hiding from view an iris still carnation pink from the after-effects of using her semblance. Her parasol whipped up into a salute, as if it were a duellist's sword and the man and the young woman were facing each other from across a field of honour.

"On the contrary, Mister Torchwick," she said with a lusty purr in her voice that Cinder would have been proud of. "I have _your_ style of flirting. Battle is always the most beautiful of dances. And the best sort of flirting."

Roman shivered in spite of himself. Melodic Cugel whipped up as he offered her a salute in turn. "Ah. If you have to copy someone, it makes sense to copy the best," he answered.

"Then I should have borrowed Cinder's style of flirting. Oops," said Neo in a voice that wouldn't melt ice cream. "Do tell, dear, which one is your favourite?" asked Neo, taking great satisfaction as she saw Roman just beginning to sweat. "Is it Miss Kitty? Didn't she look so mysterious and domineering with the mask?"

"I would never-" began Roman as smoothly as he could, but Neo cut him off sharply, working to keep him off-balance. She was beginning to develop quite the talent for it, she felt.

"No? Oh, was it Blondie?" asked Neo with her cheshire grin so sensual yet so frightening. "You'd never feel cold curled up next to her." A hand slid up her side for emphasis. Roman looked stricken. "Still no, I see. Not the Ice Princess, surely? Can you imagine the constant skewering she would give you?"

"You know, I think I'm starting to get a feel for it," answered the older man.

"Oh no! It's not Red, is it?" said Neo with a mortified expression. "But she's just a girl, Roman, much too young for you. You would have to be…," she began, but then paused, lips parted teasingly as she hovered over her words. "... perverted."

And there it was, thought the girl, success. Roman was flabbergasted, something very difficult to accomplish. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung ajar. He fumbled incoherently over his words, only halting when Neo giggled merrily, covering her mouth with her off hand as mischievous lights sparkled in her eyes. The older man folded his arms and gave her as unimpressed a look as he could manage. "Gotcha," she claimed with another wink.

The debonair thief straightened up, smoothing the lines on his coat. He shot Neopolitan a look that made her bite her lip. "You're certainly playful today. You will, of course, pay full measure for that, sweetness."

Neopolitan laughed at the man's words and leaned forward in her seat. "I always feel playful when I have to save your wick from the flame again. And I hope that's a promise, and not just another idle threat."

"My word is my bond, you can hold me to it, if you like," claimed Roman smoothly, seizing onto all his willpower to stop his gaze from sinking lower.

"Then take me to bed or lose me forever," declared Neo as she popped open her parasol and let it rest upon her shoulder. Satisfaction put a smile on her face as she watched Roman with his composure again. _Not even Cinder can unhinge you like I can_, thought Neo to herself smugly.

xxxx

"Roman Torchwick," began Cinder with a distinct bite to her voice as she appeared on the scroll's holographic projection. It had bypassed the accept/decline interface, the scroll's programming forcing the connection. Her anger dissolved into an expression that was equal parts amusement and horror as Neo's very flushed face came into view. "Ah, or Neopolitan. I am just going to naively assume you're wearing a strapless top," she declared as she noticed the bare tops of Neo's shoulders.

"Of course, ma'am," said Neopolitan with a trademark pregnant smile. "I'm sorry, Roman's … indisposed just now. He'll call you back just as soon as he ... can," she promised, biting her lip and pausing partway through, seeming to lose focus for brief moments.

"So I see," drawled Cinder. "There will be a price to pay for this mischief, dear Neopolitan."

"You know, I'm hearing that a lot lately," teased Neo cheekily.

Cinder sighed. "I really need to steal you away from him," she lamented before growing serious again. "He will call me the moment he is no longer … indisposed." With a hard look at Neopolitan and her pleasantly smiling face, she cut the video link. Neopolitan settled back, sitting up straight, and rolled her eyes.

A voice from below drawled, "That woman's bad timing is exquisite."

Neopolitan reached and whacked Roman on the shoulder. "The very least you could have done was stop moving while I was making excuses to your boss," she complained with a playful sharpness. She was resting upon her own slim and toned boss, her legs tangled in the sheets on either side of his body as she straddled him. They were sweetly joined, hips together in a blissful lock. Neo's bright eyes looking down at him seemed like the nighttime stars.

"What can I say, I'm a scoundrel," replied the master thief cockily. But his confidence dissolved into an instinctual gasp as Neo tensed her thighs and _shifted_, arching her back. She knew Roman Torchwick through and through and she could craft such music with his body that they would never want to leave.

An hour later Neo was curled up lazily in the coverlets, sated and smiling. Roman had taken the time to shower and dress from the waist up before sitting on the edge of the bed and starting up the large scroll on the desk. A very non-plussed holograph of Cinder appeared quickly.

"Ah, Cinder, sorry I couldn't take your call earlier, you know I love listening to your dulcet tones," he greeted flamboyantly.

"How did the Paladin go, Roman dear," asked Cinder rhetorically. "Someone told me it got a little beat up."

"Yeah, well, it was only an early model, anyway," dismissed Roman, trying not to sweat. "You know how it goes, takes a while to work the kinks out."

"Your little friend Red's group destroyed it in pitched battle," noted Cinder in a tone that she may easily have used to casually discuss the weather. She leaned into the camera and smiled devilishly, a smile that most certainly did not reach her violence-laden eyes. "You know, Roman, you have apparently gained altogether too much of a penchant for getting screwed by teenage girls, and I'm really growing quite tired of it."

The dust mage blinked in surprise as a slim hand rose up behind Roman, and a refined girl's voice called out, "Now, Cinder, no one likes a prude." Roman smiled and shrugged at his boss.

"Speak of the devil," said Cinder with a trademark deadly smile. "There's one now. That reminds me, Roman, don't you think you should be looking for someone more your own age?"

"Such a fixation on age, Cinder," mused Neo as she sat up slowly. "But it's not age with me and sugar, here. We're a package deal, Miss Fall, and we always will be. And I've seen how you look at Mercury. One shouldn't be so fast to throw a stone in a glasshouse."

Cinder shot them a look. "You know, I think if I had been trounced by a team of students and lost a multi-million Lien, cutting edge mech on its first night out that I would be more contrite when I talked to my boss." Roman blinked as if in the greatest confusion, and looked around. "Having a hard time following, dear?"

"Why, yes, yes I am," said Roman. "It sounded like you were talking to someone who failed his mission tonight."

"Am I not?" asked Cinder.

Neopolitan popped up behind Roman, resting her arms around her man's shoulders. "Of course not. You wanted us to rally the White Fang and we did. You wanted us to show off the Paladin. We did. You wanted us to keep the city running scared and…"

"... and are they ever running scared," said Roman, spreading his hands with an insouciant grin.

xxxx

_One Month Later_

"Look, kid, I'm telling you, it'll work!"

"Roman Torchwick, if you go ahead with this plan, I am going to have to spend an entire evening listening to you complain how you would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids. I would really rather not."

The couple faced off over the map table in the warehouse office as White Fang agents waited uncomfortably around it. Neo had her feet set and hands on her hips, looking up with steely determination at her beloved boss, who was frowning back, teeth gnawing at the stub of his cigar.

"And just why would Red and her friends possibly be there?" demanded Roman. "It's the middle of the Vytal Festival! Hours before the combat tournament. Sounds like the perfect time to me; Blondie, Ice Queen and the cat all preparing for the tournament, and it's past Red's bedtime."

"Because this is _such _an obvious move," countered Neo. "Your friend Miss Kitty is going to look at the Paladin shipment, look at the timing and come to the same conclusion you have."

"That's … Neo, that is the most circular reasoning I have ever heard," scoffed Roman, throwing up his hands. "Look, we need the shipment, we're going."

"If you must, you must, but I will not be left behind if you are going to pursue this obvious trap," declared Neopolitan in a voice that brooked no dissension.

"Fine, if you really insist, dear," allowed Roman. "Perhaps I'll even let you ride on my Paladin's shoulder as we leave with the loot."

xxxx

_Later That Night_

"I must admit, I am quite surprised," confessed Neo as she perched on the shoulder of the Paladin-290 battle mech.

"Oh, and how is that?" asked Roman, his sweet voice buzzing through Neopolitan's earpiece.

Neo shifted quickly, propping herself up between a couple of the mechanical outcropping on the back of the Paladin, holding out her parasol. A highly energised bolt from Blondie slammed into her parasol and she was enveloped in flame. A moment later she had to prance across to the other shoulder to use her parasol against an incoming grenade.

"I didn't expect the second team to be there as well at all," mused the girl.

Roman swore to himself freely in the cockpit of his stolen Paladin as he frantically stamped away from the staging yards. "Well, at least she didn't say I told you so," he muttered.

The radio in the cockpit crackled. "Oh, by the way, boss dearest," said Neo. "I told you so."

The master criminal groaned aloud as he made his way down the highway in the stolen mech with his little guardian Neopolitan on his shoulder and two teams of Beacon students chasing them down furiously.


End file.
